Sometimes All I Have Left is Laughter

February 16, 2009

Parental Alienation

Filed under: Am I still Laughing?,God in Control,Stepmom Rants — by tulips4me @ 1:03 pm

Last week My Hubby got a call from the Egg Donor informing him that she and her new hubby would be out of town for a long weekend and Son #1 would be staying with a friend.  Really???  Did she discuss this plan with My Hubby before determining where Son #1 would be staying?  Of course not.  She made the decision and then informed My Hubby.  Typical.

My company happens to give us President’s Day as a paid holiday, so I am at home today with Sons # 2 and #3.  We were planning on seeing a movie and maybe going bowling later when the phone rang.  My Hubby sounded frustrated when he told me that Son #1 was pretty sick.  Apparently the Egg Donor’s mother (psycho grandma) had been called and attempted to take Son #1 to the doctor.  Since she is not his parent, nor does she have custody of him, this attempt was unsuccessful.  You may be asking yourself why the Egg Donor called her mother and not Son #1’s Dad.  We are too, with no answers.  Since My Hubby is working today, I made the appointment and will be taking him to the doctor this afternoon. 

Here is the kicker.  When I called Son #1 to tell him when I would be picking him up, I asked him why he hadn’t called his Dad on Saturday when he started to feel bad and why didn’t the friend’s mom, who he was staying with, call us?  It seems that when psycho grandma was called on Saturday, she decided that it would be better for Son #1 to just stay at the Egg Donor’s house alone, instead of infecting the friend’s family.  Stellar!  She also gave him some leftover antibiotics to make him feel better.  Even Better!  Does Son #1 know what antibiotic he took?  Nope.  Does psycho grandma?  Nope.  The bottle was thrown away a long time ago.

So, here are the facts:

  • The Egg Donor went out of town and Son #1 was to be at a friend’s house, with no input on this decision from My Hubby.
  • Son #1 got sick.
  • Psycho grandma gave Son #1 unknown antibiotics.
  • Psycho grandma allowed a 16 year old to stay home alone after taking unknown antibiotics, not knowing if there would be an allergic reaction to them.
  • No one bothered to call My Hubby, the parent that has joint custody and decision making of Son #1, until psycho grandma couldn’t get him in to see the doctor.

Gotta love it!

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October 29, 2008

38

Filed under: Am I still Laughing?,God in Control,Mom Stuff,Stepmom Rants — by tulips4me @ 1:58 pm

I turned 38 today, but I received the most amazing gift yesterday. 

Son #3 and I were the only ones home yesterday evening when Son #1 stopped by to pick up a check for his car insurance. (This is a story for another day.)  He came in, I gave him the check and expected he would leave.  Instead, he stood in the living room chatting and acted like he wanted to hang out for a while.  We talked about his upcoming football game, Son #2’s upcoming game and other stuff he is interested in.  I happened to mention that Son #2 was doing a school project which led me to dig out pictures of him as a baby.  Son #3 asked if he could see them.  Since I am a bit lazy, the box of old pictures was still on the dining room table.  We sat down and proceeded to walk down memory lane for about 30 minutes.  We laughed and smiled at the memories that were in that box.  He seemed surprised at the number of photos there were of him.

When he was ready to leave, he reached for me, gave me a huge hug and told me that he loved me!

Now, this might seem like normal behavior however, his mother has spent 13+ years attempting to convince him how awful I am and that he shouldn’t like me, let alone love me.

It was wonderful! 

Thank you Lord for this much needed time with Son #1.

August 4, 2008

Baby Steps

Filed under: God in Control,Mom Stuff,Random Thoughts,Stepmom Rants — by tulips4me @ 5:15 pm

Things have not always been rosy with Son #1 and his mother (ED).  She has spent many years making our lives very difficult.  So much so that it has been 3 years since he last spent the night in our home, not because My Hubby and I don’t want to have overnight visits with him, but because the manipulation from ED put so much pressure on him, we gave up fighting it.  He does visit us frequently.  He comes and plays basketball with his brothers and has attended some family funtions with My Hubby’s family.  My family is a different story.  ED has rarely allowed Son #1 to participate in activities or events that involve my family.  He has been able to come over a few times when my parents have been in town, however ED has only allowed him to go with us to visit them one time, when he was 5 years old.  He is now 16.  The last time he saw my brother was 6 years ago, for about 15 minutes.

A lttle history is appropriate here.  My parents and my brother have always treated Son #1 as if he were my bio-son.  They have never made any distinction between any of my children.  There are birthday and Christmas presents every year and they always ask how he is when we chat on the phone, just like they do for Son #2 and Son #3.  When we have visited, they are always sad that he has not been allowed to come with us and when they are here, they are very disappointed that they are not able to see him.

We were preparing to go to my brother’s house yesterday afternoon, when Son #1 called and said he would like to come over.  My Hubby told him he would love to see him however, we were headed to my brother’s house and then asked if he would like to join us.  After getting some details, he said he would check with ED and call us back.  We did not hold our breath.  You could have knocked us over with a feather when he called back to say that he could go!  My Hubby and I stared at each other for a few minutes in disbelief.  Then we rushed out the door to pick him up before she could come to her senses and change her mind!

We spent 3 hours talking and eating.  My kids and my niece and nephew played for several hours.  It was a great time!

Baby steps.

October 18, 2007

Friday Night Lights

Filed under: Mom Stuff,Stepmom Rants — by tulips4me @ 10:27 am

I love Friday night football games.  The lights, concession stand food, cheerleaders, hot chocolate, excited Hubby, not to mention how excited Sons # 2 & # 3 become when they get to see their big brother play!  If we are lucky the highlights of the game are shown on the local news on Sunday morning!  It’s pretty cool to see your kiddo make (or miss) an awesome tackle on TV!  He has certainly had his share of both.

This Friday will be a little different since the game will be at a school that is about 60 miles away.  We have decided to spend the night and come back on Saturday morning instead of making our way home at 10:30 at night.  Son #1 got permission from his coach and ED to stay with us, instead of riding home on the team bus after the game.  This is a pretty big deal since ED has spent the last several years doing everything she can to keep Hubby from having any overnight visits. 

Hubby, who always wants to do the right thing, gave the hotel info to ED even though he has a cell phone and could be reached at any time via that phone.  ED called this morning to tell us that she and her husband have decided that they will also stay the night and have made a reservation at the same hotel.  SERIOUSLY!!!!  The town we will be in is a resort town and there are a TON of hotels in said town.  Why on earth would she find it necessary to stay at the same hotel we are at?  Is it not bad enough that we have to sit in the same football stadium with her for an entire football game?

Lord help me!

September 1, 2007

Health Insurance and Football

Filed under: Stepmom Rants — by tulips4me @ 9:07 am

The divorce decree requires that Hubby carry the health insurance for Son #1.  The coverage offered through Hubby’s company is not so great, so we are all covered under my health plan.  It has been this way for 12 years.  ED had another child 4 years ago, finally decided to get a job about 18 months ago, and it seems that she has decided to add Son #1 to her coverage this year.  Not a big deal, assuming ED makes sure that any medical provider be made aware of both coverages so that anything that is not covered by the primary (mine), will be picked up by hers.  Great, right?  No out of pocket expenses for ED or Hubby.  As I said, this assumes that she is smart enough to inform any medical provider of both coverages, which she is not. (Big Shock here!)  Hubby got a call yesterday from ED demanding reimbursement of 50% of the co-pays that she has paid this year.  Hubby explained AGAIN why we would not be reimbursing these expenses.  ED screamed a few curse words at Hubby and hung up.  This has been her MO from day one.  ED clearly has huge control issues.

 Last night was Son #1’s first high school football game of the season. He is a sophomore and this is his second season as a varsity player.  We are very proud of him.   Hubby, Son #2, Son #3, Hubby’s parents, nephew, a good friend, her daughter and I were all seated and waiting for kickoff when ED and husband arrived.  ED and husband proceeded to sit in front of us and chat with Hubby’s parents as if they were good friends.  GRRRRR!  I would imagine that ED got tired of the holes I was burning into the back of her head, and they moved.  Relief! 

10 minutes into the first quarter, the sky opened up, the lightning started, the field was cleared and we all went to our cars to wait it out.  After about 10 minutes of waiting ED called to say that they were heading home because ED’s dad had a stroke earlier in the week and they needed to go home to be with him, and could Hubby take Son #1 home.  Let’s be clear, there is a HUGE difference between a stroke and heat stroke.  ED’s dad had heat stroke.

About 45 minutes later, after the game resumed and Son #1 had made a couple of really great plays, ED called to see what was going on.  ED was calling from a party.  Huh?  What about sick dad?  Hubby made sure ED was told all about the GREAT game she was missing (Son #1’s team won 33-0).  ED acted as if she was bummed about missing it, but never returned to the game.   Hubby waited for Son #1 and drove him back to ED’s.   Son #1 was very disappointed that ED and husband left and didn’t talk much on the ride home.   I cannot imagine what that was like for him!

Sorry this has been such a rambling, ranting post…I just needed to get it out of my system.

August 26, 2007

Definitions and Dish

Filed under: Stepmom Rants — by tulips4me @ 8:12 pm

I thought I would give some definitions before I get too far into this blogging thing. 

ED = Egg Donor AKA stepson’s bio mom – Thanks Stephanie!

Hubby = My husband and father to stepson

Son #1 = Stepson

Son #2 = My oldest bio son – Hubby is his father

Son # 3 = My youngest bio son – Hubby is his father

 So, now that you know who the players are…

Hubby went to pick up Son #1 from ED’s home Saturday for scheduled visitation.  It also happened to be Son #2’s birthday.  As hubby pulled into ED’s driveway, Hubby received a call on his cell from Son #1 saying that since he is learning to drive, ED’s husband will be bringing him over so that he can get some driving time in.  While I agree that Son #1 needs to get his 50 hours of driving in, I am puzzled why he could not drive Hubby’s car back to our house and, since it is about a 5 minute drive from ED’s house to our house, what was the point, really???  The real question is, since Hubby was in ED’s driveway, why did he agree? 

We had a decent visit, homemade pizza, cake and ice cream, birthday song…all good, except for some odd wierdness from Son #1.

Fast forward to Sunday AM.  I asked Hubby what time Son #1 would be over?  Hubby tells me that he would not be over because he is going school shopping with ED.  (This explains Son #1’s wierdness) Now this is interesting.  First of all, Son #1 starts school tomorrow…what could be the reason for waiting until the last minute?  Hmmm.  Second, this is Hubby’s time with Son #1.  This time is incredibly limited and it makes me crazy when ED pulls this crap.  It really makes me crazy that Hubby lets it happen.  I am so sick of her and her antics. 

Now, you may be thinking “This is so mild, get over yourself Tulip Girl!”  You’re right, this is mild for her.  I guess I have been through 12 years of this crap and I am over it.  The good news is that I only have 3 years and 8 1/2 months left before Hubby can tell her to take a leap!  What a day that will be! 

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