Sometimes All I Have Left is Laughter

August 28, 2008

Disappointment

Filed under: Am I still Laughing?,God in Control,Mom Stuff — by tulips4me @ 8:53 pm

My Hubby and I recently had a conversation with Son #1.  He is now 16 and driving.  We felt it was time to discuss with him how important it is to never get behind the wheel if he has been drinking, or get in a car with someone else who has been drinking.  We wanted him to know that if he ever finds himself in these circumstances, he is to call us and we will come and get him, regardless of the time.  We also made it clear that drinking at his age is unacceptable however, we would rather be disappointed in his choices than claim his body at the morgue.  I think he got it.

This made me start thinking about when I was a teenager.  I was a pleaser and possibly still am.  I did not want to disappoint my parents.  I equated their disappointment and resulting disdain with losing their love.  This, of course was irrational.  My parents never had the above-described conversation with me, and as I reflect on my teen years, I believe I would have gotten behind the wheel after drinking because calling them would have caused them disappointment and therefore they would have stopped loving me.

Even as a young adult, who had been married and divorced, I made choices that I am now apalled at and cannot believe that I am the same person that made them, because I was so afraid of disappointing my parents.

I cannot change the past and I cannot undue the things that I did.  What I can do is make sure I talk to my kids.  That I tell them that even if they make bad choices and disappoint me, I will always love them.  That disappointment does not equal the loss of love.

Okay, now stop reading this and go talk to your own kids and make sure you tell them you love them.

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4 Comments »

  1. Yep, definitely need to have the conversation. Need to reassure them that we love them no matter what… especially the pleasers, the ones we think already know. 🙂

    Comment by Stephanie — August 28, 2008 @ 10:50 pm |Reply

  2. I know these things aren’t easy to say, but wow! You said them well. Stay in the process, my friend. Facing it is ugh! but keep going toward your freedom – because other people need what you have!

    God BLESS you!

    Comment by Jeanie — August 30, 2008 @ 9:28 am |Reply

  3. My parents never had that conversation with me. I guess they thought I didn’t need it, or that I would make the ‘good choice’. I never had to choose, because I never drank in high school.
    But the conversation that you just had is one that Sean and I will be having with the girls, for exactly the same reasons as yours!

    Comment by blue bamboo — September 2, 2008 @ 6:56 pm |Reply

  4. Hope your week has been going well. Just wanted to let you know I have been praying for you-joy, peace that absolutely passes understanding, grace, compassion, mercy, healing, breath of life – all these and more!
    xxoo

    Comment by J — September 5, 2008 @ 8:17 am |Reply


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