Things have not always been rosy with Son #1 and his mother (ED). She has spent many years making our lives very difficult. So much so that it has been 3 years since he last spent the night in our home, not because My Hubby and I don’t want to have overnight visits with him, but because the manipulation from ED put so much pressure on him, we gave up fighting it. He does visit us frequently. He comes and plays basketball with his brothers and has attended some family funtions with My Hubby’s family. My family is a different story. ED has rarely allowed Son #1 to participate in activities or events that involve my family. He has been able to come over a few times when my parents have been in town, however ED has only allowed him to go with us to visit them one time, when he was 5 years old. He is now 16. The last time he saw my brother was 6 years ago, for about 15 minutes.
A lttle history is appropriate here. My parents and my brother have always treated Son #1 as if he were my bio-son. They have never made any distinction between any of my children. There are birthday and Christmas presents every year and they always ask how he is when we chat on the phone, just like they do for Son #2 and Son #3. When we have visited, they are always sad that he has not been allowed to come with us and when they are here, they are very disappointed that they are not able to see him.
We were preparing to go to my brother’s house yesterday afternoon, when Son #1 called and said he would like to come over. My Hubby told him he would love to see him however, we were headed to my brother’s house and then asked if he would like to join us. After getting some details, he said he would check with ED and call us back. We did not hold our breath. You could have knocked us over with a feather when he called back to say that he could go! My Hubby and I stared at each other for a few minutes in disbelief. Then we rushed out the door to pick him up before she could come to her senses and change her mind!
We spent 3 hours talking and eating. My kids and my niece and nephew played for several hours. It was a great time!
Baby steps.
It’s a shame that at 16-years of age, he is SO enmeshed with his mother that he needs her “permission” to spend time with his father doing whatever the hell he feels like (within reason, obviously).
What a shame, the extraordinary lengths a vindictive ex-spouse will go that results in such control.
Comment by Mister-M — August 5, 2008 @ 7:52 am |
Awe…that is wonderful! You cannot even plan a moment like that-God just makes it happen!
Comment by J — August 5, 2008 @ 5:06 pm |